Clarity is very important to me and I write about it a lot.
The problem is, sometimes it’s easy to say “clarity” but are you really getting to the bottom of it all, punching through the blind spots and seeing what you really need to see? Sometimes your logical mind says “I am clear on what I want/what this is about/what I need to let go of” but do you know if it’s just another layer of excuse your reptile brain is putting out to keep you “safe” in the status quo?
I am not the kind to “get you into a group program” by selling “you need a supporting community” (which, may push you into the comparison trap if not careful), nor “you are a loser and will never get any high-end client if you are not willing to invest in this $10k program” type.
I don’t believe “guilting” people into working with me, or by making them feel bad about themselves if they don’t. I used to feel bad and blame myself for being “stupid” when I didn’t whip out these tacky tactics (of course, taught by some training programs and used by many coaches) in an enrollment conversation.
We are individuals and we thrive in different ways
– I can’t tell you what works for you.
I can, however, do what works for me and allow me to serve my peeps the best I can.
So I asked myself – what is in alignment with ME? I release my grip and change the energy from which I conduct my sessions. Clear intention, clean energy – and higher conversion rate (= good business!)
Not pulling out the “guilt” or “loser” card is one thing, but I gotta say this – you do need someone who shares your vision, who can hold the space for you to step up, who can really “see” you for who you are (better than you do) and will unapologetically call you out on your BS without sugarcoating when you make up “stories” and try to hide behind some seemingly “logical” excuses.
This could be a friend or even your spouse, but the challenge of asking someone you know in your personal life to play this role is that this person may bring in “bias” or “subconscious agenda” into the mix without realizing it. S/He may also hold back from calling you out on your shit because there is a fear of altering the relationship.
That’s why I have a coach. That’s why I serve my peeps through coaching – because I love to be there to hold the space and call my clients out on things they hold onto that no longer serve them – without murky energies or “fear of offending the person/losing the relationship”.
That’s why I bring my intuitive gifts into my work because I can get to the CORE of the matter fast – bypassing the fear, the beliefs, the crap the “logical” brain doughs out – to get to clarity and inspired actions.
Not the kind of clarity that someone hands you in a template or checklist,
but true Clarity that comes from your very CORE being.
I used to think I was not a very “good coach” based on how coaching schools teach us to coach. Ask high mileage questions and let the client lead the conversation. Let the client talk. You listen, and listen, and listen.
I just don’t roll that way and for a long time, I thought I was wrong.
My clients don’t have to do much talking for me to get to the bottom of it. They just tell me what’s going on, send back a couple of completed worksheets, and I can tell them exactly what it’s all about – their truth, their blocks, their desires and their business direction/strategies – by using my intuition to tap into their energies, their truth, their core essence. I spend quite a bit of time in the “telling” mode when I am with my clients and before I realized that it is my superpower, I would feel “bad” about not being a “good coach” by talking too much.
I may not coach the “conventional” way for the most part, but it doesn’t mean I am a sucky coach. On the contrary, my clients get clarity super fast because I ditch the niceties. I don’t let them talk too much and get tangled up in the BS stories they have been telling themselves and getting them stuck in the first place. There is no reason to journal (I am referring to canned-journalling) till you turn blue, talk till you are dry like a raisin, if you can just get to your truth by getting to the CORE, fast and clear.
Are you apologizing for your superpower,
just because it doesn’t fit into “what’s supposed to be?”
Are you staring myopically at the “process” and the “method” others handed to you,
and losing sight of how YOUR way gets results for YOUR people?
I let myself off the hook. If other coaches are giving you a Ford Focus, my clients are getting a Tesla. Fast, of course. But the most important thing is, clarity unadulterated by BS, preconceptions, stories, and “what is.”
Maybe the only way I “sucked” was not claiming my superpower unapologetically so I can inspire others to do the same. With the clarity about my superpower, I now claim it and use it to the benefits of all.
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