Why Letting Go Of FEAR Can be Scary

There are two kinds of fear. One is “being scared shitless by some fire-breathing dragon”. The other is the more deep-rooted, subtle “Primary Fears” that show up as self-sabotaging actions and habits.

The “Primary Fears” are tricky because when they come up, you probably don’t even recognize them as “fear”. Very often, they are manifested as procrastination, “playing small”, fear of failure, fear of success, anxiety, poor boundaries, undercharging, constantly discounting, feeling like a fraud…

If fears are not good for us, and is probably holding us back, why can’t we just let them go? What is making us hang onto our fears?

For those of us who has gone through our share of “personal development” stuff, we get so good at “articulating” our fears that we can conveniently hide behind them. We journal till we are blue on our “fears”, get a few “aha” moments, and then go back to holding onto the fears as a security blanket – because the familiar feels good (even if it doesn’t serve our best interest) and the unknown is scary.

“Fears” can be a handy excuse. If you release your fears and remove your excuses, what is left? It can be even scarier because you don’t have anything to hide behind. You have to assume total personal responsibility – there is nothing else to blame (but of course, since you are totally responsible for your outcome, there are freedom and choice – but then, this wide open field can be scary too!)

“Fears” can be a handy façade. It holds together an identity that has probably been defining part of who you are. Without it, you can feel naked, exposed. Losing part of this identity can scare the shit out of the ego. Without something to hold onto, it can feel like free falling into a void.

Losing the outer layers of fear also means you have to face the deeper, more primal fears – rejection, losing connection etc. – which can be scarier than the superficial fears that you can actually put your fingers on.

Letting go of our deeper fears needs COURAGE. The courage to dive into the unknown. The courage to let go of part of how you identify yourself. The courage to step up and do something different.


Are you ready to bust some fears so you can step up and be your best? Let’s chat.

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