How To Get Paid What You Ask For

Yes, we are told to raise our fees. We are told to create high-end coaching programs instead of taking clients on a monthly basis. All good – the question is, after all the pricing and program designing, are you actually asking for the money and getting PAID what you ask for? If not, all those trainings, pricing and program design are just intellectual exercises…

When it comes time to talk coaching fees, many coaches get sucked into their potential clients’ money stories. Coaches, who generally are quite sensitive to other people’s feelings (aka, empathic), have the tendency to short-change themselves in an attempt to make everyone happy.

If you want to stop undercharging, constantly discounting or even giving away service for free, you have to be mindful about not being sucked into your potential clients’ money stories.

Regardless of your area of expertise, your clients come to you to make improvements, to get to a better version of themselves through your services. You are there to hold that space, that higher vision, for them so they can step into it. If you are buying into their stories, you are in a way encouraging them to stay stuck in where they are. If you let them wallow in their stories, you are encouraging a victim mindset that is not conducive to them taking charge and making changes to their lives.

If you find yourself giving in to these stories in the past, I highly recommend you write down a guideline for yourself on what is acceptable, and stick with it. E.g. for my coaching programs, if a client really needs some time to pull the funds together, I allow them to put down an initial deposit to secure the fast decision discount, and then she has 30 days to complete the payment. It is clearly communicated that the coaching program will not start until the complete deposit is paid. This gives the client some wiggle room, without compromising my money boundary.

Having an empowered voice and a healthy boundary around money are also essential in helping you get what you ask for.

When we give away our power around money, it usually reflects something deeper. Most commonly, it reflects a fear of rejection, not being approved of, losing love, not being liked, being judged, or ending up with nothing.

We have a tendency to tie all these to whether people agree to work with us by giving us money. In a way, having people to pay us money, even if it’s not what we ask for, is better than getting nothing because in a way, it is some sort of validation or approval.

First of all, we need to UNdo these ties, associations and incorrect causality between our sense of self-worth and whether people are paying us for our products or services. In fact, I challenge the often used, almost-cliché phrase “charge what you are worth” because it really makes us believe what we charge is a direct reflection of our worth – which, of course, is not true. (Read this post for more on this.)

After you have figured out what the underlying fear you have behind giving away your power in your money conversation, I want you to ask yourself – what if being afraid of that is no longer important to you? How would you feel, what would you say and what action would you take? How would doing these change your business and your life? What is more important, being afraid of X, or being empowered to get what you really want in life?

Last, but not least, pay attention to your boundaries. Having healthy and firm money boundary will help you sell with integrity. In my opinion, giving in to the money story of one client is not only a disservice to you, but also unfair to your other clients who are actually paying you for what your products and services are worth.

Most often than not, leaky money boundaries can be traced back to negative beliefs about money. Look back at all the circumstances in which you held a poor boundary, and ask yourself what negative belief about money do you have to release in order to make a positive impact with this situation? And, if money were sacred to you in that situation, how would you treat and value it?

>> Ready to UNdo your money stories and see how you can supercharge your money mindset? Let’s talk.

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