Being an “Empath” is a great asset for coaches – you empathic ability means you can tap into your clients’ deep desires and emotions, creating a connection that is much needed to support powerful transformations.
However, it does have its down side if you are not careful with the “boundary” you set up with your empathetic self. It’s not about other people – people can say and do whatever they want. Being affected by what they say or do is YOUR boundary crime to commit.
With most of my “Empath” clients, they tend to “water down” their message to something “inoffensive”. This way, they are not getting anything “negative” from people, but they are also not fully expressing themselves.
Or, they would know everything about “getting the word out there” but when it comes to “getting themselves out there,” they have one foot on the gas and one foot on the break. Why is that?
As an “Empath”, we can sense other people’s emotions easily – including the yucky negative ones. Who wants to feel those nasty emotions all the time? So at a young age, part of us, in order to protect ourselves, learned to be “inoffensive” or “play small” so we don’t trigger people around us. If people around us don’t give out bad juju, then we won’t feel it… Makes sense?
This habit gets so ingrained in us that even now, as we grow up, we are still doing that. In many situations, it may be desirable (at least for the short-run) but it is not helping you find your superpower, nail your schtick nor “get out there”.
In order to stand out and attract your ideal clients, you need to have an OPINION. Everybody is OK with plain vanilla ice cream, but few people will pay the big bucks for it. They would probably say, “oh, it’s nice” and move on. People pay for gourmet dark chocolate chili pink Himalayan salt ice cream. Not everyone will dig it, but those who do, will seek it out and pay the big bucks for premium. Do you want to be gourmet?
Taking a stand also mean you can quickly hone in on your message and your schtick, and see how you can apply your superpower to crush any competition – sweet, right?
All that requires you to step up and be OK with saying what is deep down in YOU. Be OK with offending people – I am not saying you go out and offend people for the hell of it. I am just saying, it’s OK (even desirable) to offend people if you are speaking your truth.
Dig so freakin’ DEEP that you feel you are going to PUKE YOUR GUTS OUT.
Puke them out and smear them on your blog posts.
Let that nugget of anger burst.
Trust that when you finally take a stand and express YOU, people will listen up. Yes, you will get people “not liking” you but know that for every one of those losers (they won’t buy from you anyway) 3 people will slap their thighs and scream “thank goodness someone is finally saying that!”
What would you do/say if you are to offend people with your truth?
Now go do it.