JUST CROSS IT ALREADY.￼
I built a business that was profitable from the get-go. It generated a very decent full-time income (it hit the 6-fig mark in 18 months) while allowing me to work 25 hours a week, hang out with my little monkey, do yoga in the morning, chase after my bigger monkey after school and herd the family circus.
I “should” be totally ecstatic and celebrating, but instead, I felt “nice, but, meh.” I felt something was missing.
The charge. The joy. The excitement.
The sense of play. The thrill of embarking on an adventure.
The sense of experiencing LIFE. The sense of being fully ME.
I took a hard look at myself, my life, my business, my thoughts, my emotions, my actions. I saw “going through the motion,” even did a few gutsy thing… but part of me was dabbling – scared to fully step up, be me, say “screw you world” and toss all the “supposed to be” out the door.
I saw misalignments. I saw contradictions. I saw frustration when I did cookie-cutter things that didn’t match the “ME” I want to become – just because those big wig coaches said so. I saw “future-tripping” that took me away from the moment. I saw over-thinking and under-living.
I was dabbling at the boundary, pushing to see where it can stretch. But I didn’t quite have the guts to just cross it already.
I could stay in the “safe zone” when I “push” the boundary. I could poke at it without punching through it. I could stretch it and then retreat back to the comfort zone if it became too much. I could stay uncommitted because I could push at a few spots, instead of picking one and crossing it. I could pull a few things off and appear to be pretty gutsy to the outside world because I was “pushing” the boundary and temporarily felt good about myself.
But “pushing” gets old. It’s one way to make ourselves feel “gutsy” without really doing what HAS to be done.
It was time to take a stand and CROSS it.
I saw “change or regret”.
Let Go Of the “Known”
I long for innovation, for creating something that has never been done before, yet I held onto the “existing” like a stinky old security blanket.
DECISION: Stop doing what I am “supposed” to do. Stop “going through the motion”. Create something that is truly out of the box, challenge the status quo, slap the “what had worked” in the face. “Certainty” is an illusion – the only thing I am certain of is Change.
Go for the excitement. Dive into the unknown.
Do something Gutsy. Trust the Universe.
I long for adventure, yet I was a quite a control freak. I long to relive the thrill of those days when I grabbed my backpack, fly to some Scandinavian country with a friend not having a room to stay, not knowing what language they speak, not knowing what money they spend. Yet I tensed up when I was taken out of my routine.
DECISION: Get out of my head. Stop the planning. Be present. Find peace, make space, allow expected and unexpected opportunities to show up.
Embrace space. Let in opportunities.
Allow chance encounters. Be pleasantly surprised.
Embrace All Of ME
I long for the world to experience ME to the fullest extent. I long to forge my own path. Tell my Truth, my way. Yet I had not fully embraced all of me – all of my life experiences, all my quirks and desires. There were parts of me that got left behind. There were thoughts and desires not voiced, not declared.
DECISION: Embrace all my experience, acknowledge that everything I have done has contributed to where I am now and where I want to be. Trust that all I have experienced will contribute to me becoming ME. Voice my desires, claim my vision (no matter how ridiculous it sounds.) Step up and be all of me – I don’t have to make the entire human population like me.
Show off my gifts. Live loudly. Unapologetically.
I long to build my business as if I am creating a work of art, yet I beat myself up if I was not following those “best practices” and felt like missing out. I long to be unapologetically me, yet I fell into the comparison trap. I long to break the rules yet I often felt tied down by what I know intellectually. I long to feel everything in my body, yet I spent too much time in my head.
DECISION: Question the Rules. Break out of the box. Whip out Heart & Guts, screw you brain.
Build my business like I am making art.
Smear the paint. Splatter the plaster. Get messy. See what happens.
Be inspired. Breath in the turpentine. Follow my Instinct.
Tell My Truth.
I long for freedom, lightness and laughter, yet I was afraid to let it all go and take flight. I long for a business that is totally fun, yet I got bogged down by the shoulda coulda, and the “comparison trap”.
DECISION: Dare to toss out what I know about “marketing” ( – a lot. I paid a load of money for my biz coach to tell me I probably know more about marketing than she does) and do only what lights me up. Trust my intuition and write from my guts.
Indulge. Laugh. Fly.
Do what makes my Guts happy.
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